Talking The Issues Over It's important to talk about your feelings and get them out. Talking with someone you trust can help you avoid feeling isolated and will give you perspective on how you feel and what you think. The most important characteristic of the person you talk to is that they should be someone you trust, and who will support you no matter what decision you make. They should be nonjudgemental, they should not force their opinions on you or tell you what to do, and they should be able to keep a secret. Think about the people who have been respectful of your needs and ideas in the past. The people you talk to could include: * a family member (like your sister) * the father * a friend * a relative (like a close aunt) * a friend of the family It may be helpful to include the father, even if you're not involved with him at this time. He might have some feelings and ideas about what could be done. If you have trouble talking with him, or would like someone else to help with the conversation about your pregnancy, there are a number of people (a family member, a counsellor, etc.) who might be supportive. If you don't have any trusted friends or relatives to talk to, or even if you do, an experienced options counsellor (click here to access counselling in Canada) can help you think things through. Some people believe that it is helpful to talk to someone who is not personally involved with you and your decision. A counsellor has no investment in whatever choice you make, and can help you define and clarify the issues you're dealing with. Some other people you might want to talk to: * a social worker * a community health worker * a school counsellor * a doctor * a spiritual leader It's important to know that not all professionals will be pro-choice. You might want to sound them out first before you open up to them. Ask them how they feel about parenting, adoption, abortion. Some people, and some anti-choice organizations, have a strong desire to influence your decision-making process. On the other hand, counsellors in abortion clinics are trained to provide non-coercive, unbiased counselling, and will be respectful of whatever decision you make. They will never pressure you to have an abortion, and will be happy to connect you with resources in your community if you decide to maintain the pregnancy. Ultimately, it doesn't matter who you talk to, as long as that person cares about you and is willing to support your decision. EXERCISE: Do you know someone who's been in a similar circumstance to you? For example, an aunt, a friend, etc. What is her story? Talk about it with her. You might find great comfort in knowing that you're not the only person to be in the situation you're in now. Their experience may give you insight into your own, and point the way to your decision. EXERCISE: If there is someone you would like to talk to, but you are worried about how to handle their reaction, you could practice on a friend, relative or counsellor. This type of exercise is called a "role play." If, for example, you want to practice breaking the news of your pregnancy to your mother, have your friend pretend to be you, while you "role play" your mother. Then let your friend be your mother. This will give you a chance to think about what you want to say, how you want to say it, and how to respond to what your mother might say.
	If you have questions about the decision-making process, please drop us a line. skye@prochoiceconnection.com