Assessing the Consequences One of the most important things about looking at your options is to imagine the different consequences of each course of action. Consequences are a part of life, and cannot always be avoided. If you understand what the consequences of each option are, you may be able to choose the option, and the consequences, that you will be best able to live with. For example, one woman became pregnant at the end of her childbearing years. Her partner of 15 years was dead set against having children, and gave her an ultimatum that he would leave her if she had the child. Although this consequence seemed negative, she decided that becoming a mother was more important to her than the relationship. Another woman became pregnant in the third year of her university degree. Her partner was against having an abortion, and told her that he would leave her if she did. However, she decided that she simply wasn't ready to become a mother, and wanted to complete her education. For her, this was more important than preserving the relationship. It may be that every option you are considering will carry some negative repercussions. Some of these may be too serious to live with, while others may seem easier to accept. Both of the women above made the right choice for themselves under the circumstances, despite the costs that came with their decisions. EXERCISE: Write down as many consequences as you can, for each of the options you're considering. Are any of the consequences positive? Which ones can you live with? Which will affect you most seriously? EXERCISE: Ask yourself how each option will affect: * my ability to survive (housing, employment, etc.) * my relationship with my loved ones * my future plans and dreams * my values and personal identity * my emotional well-being * my standard of living * my education
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